"Paint Pictures"

So i've been requested to write
Something that might
Put a little color and life
Into my words
Absurd to think that the images I paint
Are indeed lifeless
What you see isn't what you heard
The visual left you blinded
Excited? Yea let me redo the flow
Bout as fly as nasa can go
And as chill as the feel of 20 below
Imagine me on E
Not me on drugs
Nah my tank on empty
Me never flowing again
Check your local staples
I never run out of pens
Where was I going with this
Trying to paint pictures
Why not paint your mind
Open your eyes
Let me take a look inside
So I can see
What you think
What your imagining
Is it purple and green unicorns
Red and blue dragons
Could it be something
Not yet imagined
Paint
Paint all over these minds walls
Take off his leaf pencil in the
Hey get that mind out the gutter
Were painting pictures
But what would your mother
Isn't that her right there
Disapproving stare
Just kidding but i'm glad to have your attention
Now that it's mine
I'd like to mention
Imagination
This is just a test of your emergency broadcast system
So please stop dripping
Pick up your jaws your paint is now just dripping
All over my canvas and that'll be 8 bucks!

Confessions of a Broken Heart

See a long time ago
It's been a while now
So the time that passed
I do not know
But once I was whole
And not with a guard
Here I am now
Broken, scarred
How could such travesty
Be allowed to happen to me
I gave myself to another
Although I am just a heart
It's all that I had
So it was all that I gave
I trusted it would never be broken
Started out rocky
Quiet before the storm
Laughter and love
Like that of a new born
But almost like I was tumbling
Down a hill with no bottom
I feared we couldn't go back up
So that feeling that kept us up there
Gone no one seemed to care
I gave you so much of me
Pretty much all of me
So when we parted ways
I was just left here
Broken, empty
A void that couldn't quite be replaced
A puzzle piece that seemed to lose its place
I confess that I wish it never happened
Or it could of just very well worked out
But without a doubt there was no turning back
We were now just you and me
What did I find so comforting in you
That it can't be replaced
Let me go or let me erase... you
Give me back so that i may not be scared
Scared to give ever again
To make another more then a friend
GIve me back
Or be erased
I confess I wish I never left this place
Gave myself to you
Cause after all I've been through
The weight lifted
Was just shifted
Turned my feet cold
Ice and brick
And I confess
I'm too scared
To ever give myself again

Rain

Truth be told I hate rain

I hate looking outside for days

Seeing nothing but rain

It brings memories of pain

And as the rain falls down

So does my tears on this page

I've cried for days

Just like the rain

There's times I've embraced the rain

Walked outside and claimed the rain

As my own

I do not like rain

But these past few days

Have been filled with nothing but rain

Rain filling my head for days

With memories of pain

The pain I felt when I first wrote

The time it took to send that note

That memo to people of who I really am

I've struggled with thoughts

Thoughts that flash in my mind as lighting

And thunder louder then I can bear

I swear

I hate rain

I've walked for days

Despite the rain

Trying to understand the connection

Why I can't truly show affection

To those I love

But I can give a hug

I can seem nice

The warmth of that hug

But my heart still frozen like ice

Snow King

I love the snow

I love the show

Of snowmen

Greeting snow angels

In the middle of a child's snowball fight

I love the mixture of the cold

And the heat from my raidiator at night

It's just sooo right

Memory

I remember a time not long ago

I walked in the rain

I walked in the snow

To a place unknown

I had to clear my head

Remove the skeletons from my bed

And back into my closet

I stuck hands in my pockets

And walked

Walked and talked to myself

Searching the starry sky

Trying to get help

The rain fell down

It washed me away

I fell on my knees

I began to pray

What can I say?

I don't even have a question

But I want answers

Got up and walked

The storm brews bigger

And just like that trigger

It's ready to fire

My heart desires to embrace this fire

Use it and let it fuel me before it consumes me

But I walk in the snow

Struggle to keep moving

Because it is 20 below

And I can't feel my toes

I continue

Because what I've been through

Is enough to keep going

Rain Rain

Go away

Come again another day

Screams kids all around

I wear no crown

Yet command you never return

Because you rain

You continue to burn me

Burn thoughts back into my mind

I thought I left behind

And you washed away

But now the clouds are grey

And you have brought them back

Thunder and Lightining

They overwhelm my mind

Let these thoughts unwind

Take hold
Be thankful

That it's temporary

That's what scares me

My momentary

Moments of undesired thoughts

That the rain washes me down with

Not washes them out with

I hate the rain

Wake Up Call

I'm losing it I feel out of control

I'm not one mind body and soul

I need to set my crazy life straight

Although I feel angry inside I feel no hate           

All I feel is madness inside me what will I do?           

Why is it when I see rain outside I start feeling blue?

I feel so alone and it's all my fault

I need to stop this from getting larger

Somebody please say halt

But I can't stop myself I'm moving at a mile a second

Have you ever seen a mad man with a method

Well that would be me

I'm a slave to my own mind I pray to be free

I'm confused I don't know where to go or where to turn

When I love it all burns

Into ashes

No one takes me seriously anymore

I wish I could be the person that I was before

But who was he I know he was good

Can I turn back I don't know if I could

My will aint that strong to stop and  turn around

Before my life starts crumbling down

I know what I need but I can't explain it

It's a feeling inside when you've just been hit with the reality button

But forget it it aint nothing

Leave me here in this unconscious state

Whether I wake up let me choose it's my own fate!

Just A Thought

The unpenetrable wall of silence
A scream muffled
Am I losing my mind
Or simply mind less
So I vent
And express the thoughts
Scowered in my brain
Running thru tracks
Much like a train

So called my train of thought
What happens when the train gets lost
Why is everything advertised number 1
If your number 1 that'd be number 2
No questions asked that thought done
In a dream my pen spoke to me
Told me of things I'd ought to be
Created a picture that quite honestly
In a way swept me off my feet
Beat boxin freestylin
Photo shoots girls smilin
What's the price of fame?
Why are thoughts unnamed?
How'd I end up on this train?
I gotta go to the Bx
So I can go to PS
8
8x I've fell in love
9x it wasn't true
All the time I felt
How can this love do
Do me so wrong
Life feels like a game of pong

Ding dong ding dong ding
Sleep time wake up
Shave or shape up
Can some1 tell me where my train is?
Really am I losin or have just always been
Brainless?

Tragedy (The Loss of Childhood)

I raise the question. If childhood is snatched away, the very essence of innocence shattered, can one ever regain it? I present to you a story of a boy. His imagination stretched far beyond the walls of his home room class. He wanted action and adventure. What fun was math? He daydreamed a lot and it got him into trouble. Report cards said he was bright but his one failure would double. If he kept imagining. He dreamed of being the best he can be. A man from out of this world. Far greater then anyone can see. He dreamed big. Grew up tall. Yet remained a kid. He's "too old for cartoons", but watches them regularly. Nothing came between his junkfood, him, and his tv. So all is well for the young man, who went to Catholic school, so he understood His plan. Just then his childhood was shattered. Bad luck it seemed, as his innocence stepped him under the ladder. What harm in that? Superstition. So is Religion. Now it's bad enough the young boy lost Santa and Tooth Fairy, but in comes a thought even more scary. He doesn't exsist. Blasphemous. He wears the chain. He prays to him. He knows that just like his cartoons. Good always wins. He grows old and starts to question. Why he ever went to confession? Why these things man made, became things that one day shaped his being. Without him seeing a car collided into him. He lost more then the wind from his lungs. No angels sung. His mother cried. Upset that she had to watch her son die. She doesn't believe anymore. Her whole childhood based that good things come to good people. Drunken driver couldn't even be equally balanced enough to realize he was there. She cries and cries, as nurses stare. She lost her childhood, her child, what more can she bear? The driver was the son's father...

A Dark Night For The Dark Knight

My insides became my outsides

My obsession for the nightlife

The Bruce searching for a Batlight

Because he's tired of these Cat fights

And brawls in the alley

That very badly

Has drained me sadly

Not talking Selena

Sure it was nice to meet her

But reality I don't need her

My insanity brews deeper

Then a Dr Harley Quinn can diagnose

She thinks it's funny

Until she finds out the joke's

Definitely on her

Like a Poison Ivy itch she can't scratch

She gasps for air

Cause Lord knows she has asthma

And this must be an attack

On those lungs of hers

For that gas there's a cure

Mr Freeze has it

And just like a crack addict

He'll sell it for funds

In search for God I came across a nun

Who asked me which way to have some fun

I looked at her she looked like the Mad Hatter

And I began to question how I could get Riddler

I mean how can I get rid of her

And she was a he who instantly

Put me

In a straight jacket

And shipped me to Arkham Asylum

With a Bat's heart

This dark

You'd be sure to Knight him

The city needs help

Somebody Flash Gordon

Tell him to get Robin

Somebody's been robbin'

He's insane from boredom

He's ready to go

No need for persuasion

After his night out

He'd end it with the new Penguin

Suit he just bought

These of course

Are yes just thoughts

Of long nights out

Protecting the city

Sometimes superheros need help too

Justice League you with me

Being Bruce Wayne

Insane troubled and suited

Put on a cape

And found it therapeutic

Thank you Dr. Chase

For letting me express my thoughts

I thought

That we ought

To go out

For a night

On the town

Without TwoFace interrupting

Not Harvey

This mask has too scarred me

Although I put this in the red book

Which I call my diary

I'm sure my butler

Kept looking over my shoulder

I feel a Superman vision

Eying me

So that's probably how

This all got said

From house hold chores

And a book that Alfred

Mother and Father

Disasters everywhere
Run for the hills
Mother natures hands are slippery
She wants blood
But she's clumsy
So she spills
Spills all over this God green Earth
That's the truth

Yes it hurts
Little Becky
Bobby
Sue
You can't run far
Because everywhere
She still sees you
She walks beneath you
As you run above
Mother nature
Care to show some love
Well I take that back
We fucked up first
We polluted your waters
And wondered why we thirst
We chopped down trees
And smoke them
And now we can't breath
We turned you against yourself
Made new animals and new plants to help
What?
We're slowly destroying ourselves
Well

We struck the first blow
But we came from the earth
And like that we grow
So who's to blame
Mother is her name
But we treat her like a leper
No one wants to touch her
Love her
Do nothing but fuck her
We fucked up her face
Built gray not green
Cause we're living the so called dream
She dreams too
Not of red white nor blue
But of green fields and white mountain tops
Night sky and clouds giving rain drops
Honor thy mother and father
He's in Heaven so we are taught
I'll get to that later
Hold that thought
She has been left here to watch her children grow
Get big grow strong and come back to her below
Why is she treated this way

We wake up each morning
Embrace the day
And don't thank her
Thank her for not dying
Thank her for trying
To survive our harsh acts
Now lets get past that
Elevate up
Because he's up there
No in fact our father is here
In us with us walking with us all
During the world series or the fight in the hall
He's with us waiting
Waiting for recognition
Hey dad thanks for those things that you've given
The morning breath
The morning sight
The morning sun
Or the moonlight
We take this for granted
I can't understand it
Why we are building up on top of old
Instead of leaving the past with our cold

Shoulder
Why not restore things like we do on computers
To back when that was a school not hooters
I haven't picked up a Bible but can tell you this
That yes in this year 2006
We live in blissful ignorance
We are dying
Our mother and father are crying
And no one is trying to help comfort them
13 years I spent in a suit and tie
Went to school dedicated to a man that died
So we wouldn't
But we continue still
To pop those pills
To seek cheap thrills
And make harmful deals
What's wrong
What's wrong
With this world today
Look up into the sky
The sky is grey
It's supposed to be blue
I can blame that on both me and you

Mother father I have cried at night
Asking why I have such sight
But have been told to be blind
Because I don't see with my eyes
Instead with my mind and my heart used as glasses
So I guess you can screw ya 20 20
I can see plenty
Father help us
Mother protect us
From us
For us
Before there are no longer any
Of us

Hip Hop Eulogy

Hip Hop is dead

Please bow your heads

To remember our love Hip Hop

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today

Because Hip Hop has died

Rest in peace Pac, Jay, and BIG

Let us remember the good old times
To the Bronx corners
And street rhymes
When this was born
Before it was torn
Between two coasts
Before Fat Joe jumped into pools with mink coats

Run DMC and LL Cool Jay they are my idols
They paved my way
So that I may fall in love with Hip Hop
Kangol hats and rope chains
Now we've got rims and braids
It's all changed
Remember back in the days when I was young I'm not a kid anymore
Or gangstas paradise
Not this because you don't like Dipset there's gotta be a fight
It was all a dream for BIG
A dream that I wish to wake up in daily
And like Lupe Fiasco I can Daydream
Like Jay Z I want to have a moment of clarity
True Hip Hop has died
People in the industry don't even write their own rhymes
Since when can Camron become more lyrical then Rakim?
Because he became Hip Hop's Dr Seuss
Check the pulse people
Hip Hop has died
Let that settle in your minds
Cribs BET and Pimp My Ride?
When all I want to do is be heard
Not to see 300 dudes on a curb

Who just want 15 seconds of fame
For a name that in less will be forgotten
Talib Mos Jay Nas
Those names should strike a chord
They are Hip Hop's children
Hip Hop I too wish to be yours
Hip Hop had lived a short term life
What ever happened to rappers who write
Their own lyrics
Lets be serious
Your telling me 50 is the man
But you can't understand
Why I put LL above him
That's madness
I've gone days listening to #1 hits
That make me sick
Chicken Noodle Soup
Laffy Taffy
Ridin Dirty
And you ask me why I wish to become new Hip Hop
Because apparently he can't stop and won't stop
But each time his album drops it's not hot
Let us hope to one day bring Hip Hop back from the dead

Yes I hope it wasn't true those words I said
Let's bow our heads and remember Hip Hop is dead

Ink Flows

Can someone tell me what's next?

What I should do?

I'm starting to feel it

All the shit that I've been through

Life

The rollercoaster that never stops

I just hope the pen doesn't drop

It's the only thing keeping me together

Besides the friends the family

Shit started to look better

Until this

Question faith

Why do I have it

When I know that what's about to come

Will keep coming like a habit

Shit

I can't even begin to imagine someone closer

I'm so thankful for her

So each chance I get I hold her

And tell her thanks

For keeping me together

Well together enough to "manage"

Inside I'm still a wreck

So is she

So are my brothers

So are we

All

Wrecks

Vexed

Yea brother man me too

I'm vexed

Between having sanity

Or to grab life by the neck

And

Keep it together

Pillows been seein me

And music has been keepin me

From being upset even more then I am

Damn

So young a man

What's the purpose

Really

Please do tell

When you give me an answer

I'd fucking run to churches

Scream and yell

And ring bells

So everyone can hear why

Why we cry

And suffer like we do

Your children

Your chosen people

Do you exsist

Am I talking to someone for real

Can someone tell me the deal

Because I don't know

And it's starting to work my nerves

My hamster's wheel is beginning to swerve off

The contraption

Too much thinking

Stop asking questions

But that's all I've got

Questions

With no answers

I can't even write anymore

Because it pains me so

So for now I'll stop

And I'll let the pen go

Differences

Is it me
My past preventing me
From you
Maybe I had my guard up
Taking up a fight without cause
An argument with no rhyme or reason
Isn't that what I argued about
You are not her
Like I am not him
But so many times a woman like you
Left me with nowhere to begin
Even if there wasn't a chance to be had
You hold the cards
So why hold a chance and be mad
Maybe my same reasons aren't yours
Like her advice isn't right for me
I don't believe in soulmates
Cause I don't believe in love
No we were not meant to be
We gotta just make it work
Play the hand we're dealt
But when do we get the signal
That the game is in session
My fight isn't with you
Nor is it a fight at all
I just see so much of you
Already painted on my minds walls
Painted pictured by artists of my past
Who sculpted and created me
And yet here I am with nothing
Empty
It's mere choices of words
The choice of context
Which makes this just so complex
We crave simplicity
Each of us
Even when your simplicity
Seems a bit much
Maybe it's looking at a reflection
Could I feel the same
If I saw through your eyes
I can see it that way
Different and not so different
Me and you
You and me
On separate paths
Marching to the same beat
Just chopped or screwed
You know that tune
Bump bump bump bump
Its our heart beat
Yea you know its true
Just one chromosome of difference
Should be the only difference between me and you